Husband doesn't help, with anything until he thinks I am at the point I am ready to leave!?

I have been married for almost 12 years,no children. I am 29, I work full time, and will soon be starting school. My husband works as well. He has always been pretty good at being employed, though there have been some stretches of unemployment where he still didn't help. My problem, which seems to be fairly common, but my cirstances are a little different, but my problem is, when my husband gets home from work, he will sack out on the couch, and... that's it. This is EVERY night. I work night shift,12 hour shift,and about 75 miles from my home. So when I get off at 7am, I get home at about 8:30 am due to metropolitan traffic. so I come home, and believe me.. I am no neat freak, but I have to vacuumwhen I get home due to the excessive gr he has tracked in the night before, and whatever mess the dog has made that he just left. Then I typically throw away the empty mountain dew cans he has left. So I sleep from about 9:30 am to 2pm and do it all over again. Every month I get 8 days in a row off due to my track schedule system. During that 8 days, I have to repair the damage to my home from the previous weeks of not having the time because of work. Now, we live on about 1 cleared acre. My step father's mother lives next door. Due to my work schedule, this leave little time for me to do alot of yard work except on my 8 day break. My husband, gets VERY upset when he is asked to help. What really gets to me, is that if he persists in not doing it, My 71 y.o grandmother does it... I find thatdespicablee.Further, if my vehicle just needs the oil looked at, or a head light bulb changed, I will ask him, (he works at a garage). He then will be so apprehensive to do it, and when he does, something always upsets him to the point of raising his voice at me. The absolutely confusing part for me, is if one of his friends asks him to do something, he is all over it. Why not me? I pay the bills, I cook, I clean, I know I am not perfect, but I am anett.... so why not me? This has gone so far as to affect the level of attraction I feel for him. I dare not tell him that, he doesn't react positively to being asked to do the simplest of tasks, so I can only imagine the fallout that would come from me telling him my attraction for him was waning because of his lack of ambition. Anybody experience this? Something similar? This has been going on for a bit, and steadily worsening. He is a loving man, when he is awake. What do I do? How do I fix it? I get so depressed. I feel like a live in maid who pays the bills.